ARP PRESENTATION SLIDES FOR 31/01/24

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Anna-Nicole Ziesche

BA Fashion Design Womenswear Pathway Leader at CSM – 8 years

Teaching on the same course – 20 years

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WHAT IS IT ABOUT

This is a small research project to receive an initial and better view on the relationship of motherhood and teaching at UAL, specifically among CSM BA Fashion staff hoping to generate some form of positive change for staff and therefore, also for students.

RESEARCH QUESTION

What is the Relationship between Motherhood and Teaching?

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Left photo: My daughter Fione (1 year) and I at The Art of Fashion – Installing Allusions at the Museum Boijmans Van Beuningen, Rotterdam 2009; right photo: The Making of Black Scraptrolley – My daughter Fione (7 years old) and I, 2015

RATIONAL FOR SELECTING THE TOPIC

Personal

Both the PgCert and art practice sustain and advance our teaching practice and students’ experience.

Both I had to postpone because I was not able and not enabled to be a mother, pathway leader, artist, and student.

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Left image: Mama by Aneta Grzeszykowska, 2018, right image: Book: Motherhood by Ann Coxon, 2023

RATIONAL FOR SELECTING THE TOPIC – Wider context

Three interconnected experiences:

• Viewing Mama by Aneta Grzeszykowska, 2018 at the Venice Biennale The Milk of Dreams curated by Cecilia Alemani in 2022

• An unexpected dialogue about motherhood with Tate Modern Curator Ann Coxon at the Venice Airport 2022

• Finding the book Motherhood by Ann Coxon published in the following year 2023

From here on references kept popping up everywhere.

Key references on my ARP journey were:

• Book: The Baby on the Fire Escape – Creativity, Motherhood, and the Mind-Baby Problem by Julie Phillips 2022

• Artist: Alice Neel

• Exhibition: Women in Revolt! Art and Activism in the UK 1970-1990 at Tate Britain 2023-24

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KEY RESEARCH METHOD

Emergent approach to qualitative data over time

• Every process constitutes a point of reflection.

• Emerging themes relate to each other, sometimes back and forth – ‘Being in flow’.

• The research methods of how I collect data are equally important as the actual research data itself.

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RESEARCH METHODS USED TO COLLECT DATA

Convenience sampling strategy

• Participants’ selection is based on the nature of the project: they must be mothers in a teaching environment in this case BA Fashion at CSM.

• The most joyful finding was realising that I had the most knowledgeable, generous and motivated participants embodying a source of endless findings and themes enough to write a book.

• The most painful finding was the participants’ harshness to themselves and the constant fear of being labelled and not good enough, not worthy, ashamed, a bit embarrassed.

7 x 1 hour, 1-2-1 dialogues as opposed to interviews:

• Lived experiences and wisdom constitute an integral part of the project.

• Both the participant and I, the dialogue initiator, are equally active and collectively involved in the project and its outcome.

• The dialogue as a tool worked well empowering one participant to spontaneously turn the questions towards me and all participants to provide me with further references.

Establishing a safe space: Drinking tea or coffee at a table and having a chat

• Sarah Ahmed wrote in Living a feminist life (2017) that feminism cannot be limited to the realm of academia only and should embrace the notion of “home” and women’s personal spaces.

• As I took great care of ensuring a safe space and confidentiality enhanced the participants’ emotional generosity, eagerness to share and to find answers shown in their elaborate replies and emotional reactions.

• Some of the participants thanked me afterwards. The safe space and dialogues created an internal, meaningful shift inside the participants and me.

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 VISUAL DOCUMENTATION OF THE DIALOGUES (more photos on blog)

• These photographs are an important tool enabling me to share with you a remaining aura around the dialogues without revealing the participants’ identities.   

• The photographs resume the ‘being in flow’ notion and interrelate with my new project ‘Princess Dress continues’.

• I did not analyse the photos because of the small scale of the project.

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DATA ANALYSIS OF MY FINDINGS:

• Method: Thematic Analysis using a combination of inductive and deductive approach with key reference being Virginia Braun and Victoria Clarke.

• When naming the themes or codes and subgroups I tried to give my participants and their experiences a voice as much as possible by utilising their language combined with my conceptual and theoretical framework.

• Lots of themes were emerging, some overlapping, eventually, I constructed 4 final themes each with 4 subgroups.

KEY FINDING LED TO CONSTRUCT THE SUBGROUPS FURTHER:

• My key finding is the 3^rd theme called ‘Forever evolving Divided Selves – personally and interpersonally’. It describes the constant splitting that mothers need to do and significantly, echoes this ever-evolving ‘tangleness’ of my project, method, and myself.

• This discovery led me to double identify or re-split the subgroups so that they consist of a more formal, neutral version and another freer version revealing myself as both researcher and mother subject.

FINDINGS

My findings consist of 4 themes each with 4 double identified subgroups (except the 4th theme), 1 original data and 1 selected image with a brief annotation representing my wider context.

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1. Bodily Reality

• Being pregnant at CSM or Waddling Body and Bursting Bladder at a Fashionable CSM
• Giving birth or Bodily Tsunami
• Returning to work after pregnancy at CSM or Returning to CSM while in Bodily Trauma and Bond
• Breastfeeding at CSM or Bodily Pain, Fluids and Demoralising Negotiation at CSM

Quoted Data:

“I remember for me going back to work was the most out of body experience I ever had in my life. So much more than giving birth and the kind of postpartum week.…and it felt so unreal, like what ..am I trying to do here when I should be at home. I felt very strongly that it was wrong, but I also had to do it. I kind of knew I had to ease myself back into it. But it was very uncomfortable.”

Book: Motherhood by Ann Coxon, 2023:

Rineke Dijkstra 1959 –

Julie, Den Haag, Netherlands, February 29 1994 1994

“This photographic portrait, one of three, was created one hour after the woman had given birth to her baby. Posing naked in her home for Dijkstra’s camera, the woman shows vulnerability and strength. This is what new motherhood looks like. Stripped of clothing and protectively cradling their naked babies, the women remind us of the raw, biological fact of the mother’s body as the place in and through which all human life begins.”

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2. Renegotiating Career

• Motherhood and Work in the fashion industry or Motherhood and Work Made Impossible in Fashion Industry
• Motherhood and Work at CSM (BA Fashion) or Motherhood is Zero Recognised at CSM
• Childcare or Charity Work
• Motherhood and Teaching or Teaching is not My First Choice

Quoted Data:

“I saw that pregnant women were immediately fired or would not return to work. If they did return to work, they were pushed out. And being completely honest, although it’s not very admirable of me to say, I don’t think that I would be working in education if I hadn’t had the wish to become a mother.”

From Tate Britain exhibition: Women in Revolt! Art and Activism in the UK 1970-1990

Image annotation:

Shirley Verhoeven 1932-1999

Born England, worked UK

Portfolio 1989

Pen and coloured pencil on paper

Verhoeven worked as an illustrator at Camberwell Borough Council, Decca Records and advertising agency developing promotional materials for West End theatres. In 1962, following the birth of her first child she stopped creating art work and took a job in Woolworth to support her growing family. In 1982, at the age of 50, Verhoeven began seeking creative work again. Portfolio was part of the portfolio she devised in her successful pursuit of paid work. It depicts an archetype young woman executive in the 1980s, dressed in a sophisticated ‘power’ suit and using the latest technology.

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3. Forever evolving Divided Selves – Personally and Interpersonally

• Internal Divide Being A Mother or Old and New Self – I can’t quite fit the 2 together.

• Internal Divide Being A Mother and A Professional or Being Professional Means Hiding Being a Mother
• Divide Between Parents And Non-Parents or You are one of them until you become a mum yourself.
• Dividing Mothers & Non-Mothers into other Mother- Selves or Non-Parents Wanting to be Mothered

Quoted Data:

“I think there is a shame that you feel, shame that you feel as a professional person to be also a family woman.”

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4. Artist-Mother

• Artist and Professional
• Artist and Motherhood
• Dichotomy – Art and Child – what comes first?
• Artist, Mother and Professional

Quoted Data:

“But equally it feels like my creative work, not working for other people, but my creative, my need to make things, to design or to draw or to whatever, also feels like an absolute like something in spite of me. It’s not like I can just switch it off. And so it’s just been very difficult to know how to give importance to those 2 things.”

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REFERENCES TO RELEVANT LITERATURE

• Artwork: Mama by Aneta Grzeszykowska, 2018

• Coxon, Ann, Motherhood, Tate Enterprises Ltd, 2023

• Phillips, Julie, The Baby on the Fire Escape – Creativity, Motherhood, and the Mind-Baby Problem, W.W. Norton & Company Ltd, 2022

• Artist: Alice Neel

• Exhibition: Women in Revolt! Art and Activism in the UK 1970-1990 at Tate Britain 2023-24

• Dick, Bob Making the most of emergent methodologies: a critical choice in qualitative research design. A paper prepared for the Association for Qualitative Research conference, Melbourne, 5-7 July, 2001 http://www.aral.com.au/DLitt/DLitt_P48emerg.pdf

• Ravitch, Dr. Sharon, Methods in Flux: Emphasis on Emergent Design by Sharon Ravitch Dr. Sharon Ravitch is a regular Methodspace contributor, and served as the Mentor in Residence in March 2022, https://www.methodspace.com/blog/methods-in-flux-emphasis-on-emergent-design

• Ahmed, Sarah, Living a feminist life, Duke University Press Books, 3 Feb. 2017

• Hill Collins, Patricia, Paper: Why Citation matters: Ideas on a feminist approach to research by Christina Templin (SoSe 2021).

• Hooks, Bell, Talking Back, Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black, Routledge Taylor & Francis Group New York London, 1989, p.131

• Kara, Helen, Creative Research Methods in the Social Sciences: A Practical Guide, Policy Press; 1st edition 10 April 2015

• Sage Research Methods Social Research: A Practical Introduction, SAGE Publications, 2011

• Braun, Virginia and Clarke, Victoria in APA handbook of research methods in psychology, Vol. 2: Research designs: Quantitative, qualitative, neuropsychological, and biological (pp.57-71) Edition: First Chapter: Thematic analysis, 2012

ARP PRESENTATION IN WRITTEN DETAIL AND UNEDITED

(WITHOUT VISUALS)

• original context / background,
  • rationale for selecting the topic,
  • reflection on research method/s used,
  • summary of project findings,
  • references to relevant literature (using the Harvard method),

Warning:

Initially, I would like to mention that my topic is sensitive because it evolves around motherhood and some of my peers may feel uncomfortable hearing about this theme, so please, take the liberty and don’t listen to this presentation if it makes you uncomfortable in any way.

Secondly, my presentation constitutes a visual journey following the suggested order of context, rationale, research methods, findings and reference because I thought this might be more interesting for the audience and also represents me well because I am a visual artist..

Original context / background – the professional context in brief about your project

• show 10 sec film ‘Princess Dress’ 2016

What is the project about:

This is a small research project not to generalise but to receive an initial and better view on the relationship of motherhood and teaching at UAL, specifically among CSM BA Fashion staff which is generating some form of positive change for staff and therefore, also for students.

Research question: What is the relationship between motherhood and teaching?

Rationale for selecting the topic – both personal and backed up by literature

Personal context:

I am the BA Fashion Womenswear Pathway Leader at CSM for nearly 9 years, I have taught on the same course for nearly 21 years, and I am 51. Not even 1 year into the role of the BA Fashion Womenswear pathway leader I had to give up being an artist because I couldn’t handle being a mother, pathway leader and artist.

The reason why I am doing the PgCert only now is that I was unable to be a mother, teacher, artist, and student. As both of my children are now in secondary school, I embarked on the PgCert. Both the PgCert and also art practice nourishes our teaching practice and students’ experience, so I wanted to find out about the experiences and journeys of other mother-teacher-artists on the CSM BA Fashion.

Wider context

In 2022 I went to the Venice Biennale the first time in my life, which was curated by a Cecilia Alemani and called ‘The Milk of Dreams’. The shown artwork left a strong impression and stayed in my mind after the visit. In addition, I met the curator Ann Coxon during my visit who I knew from my time as security guard at Tate Modern prior to having children. Being both in the presence of our children we ended up speaking about motherhood and work.

The following year Ann Coxon published the book ‘Motherhood’ – and now wherever I look there are exhibitions and literature investigating Motherhood and feminism. The book The Baby on the Fire Escape – Creativity, Motherhood, and the Mind-Baby Problem by Julie Phillips, the artist Alice Neel and the exhibition Women in Revolt! Art and Activism in the UK 1970-1990 constitute key moments on my ARP journey.

Reflection on research method/s used – evidence of process, show what you did

My project focusses on an emergent approach to qualitative data over time which means every process constitutes a point of reflection and emerging themes relating to each other, sometimes back and forth, which I describe as ‘being in flow’.

My new artwork with working title ‘Princess Dress Continues’ which I presented while still being in progress during the talk ‘Notes on Motherhood’ to the CSM Fashion Research and Knowledge Exchange community is part of this cycle.

As I am investigating motherhood, lived experiences and wisdom constitute an integral part of the project. To reflect this my methods of how I collect the research data are equally important as the actual research data itself. Therefore, I held dialogues as opposed to interviews to emphasise the change of positions in that both the participants and I, the project investigator, are on the same level. This stresses and confirms the active and collective involvement of the participant in the project and its outcome. In her book Talking Back, Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black (1989) Bell Hooks describes a similar notion in that she states: “Dialogue implies talk between two subjects, not the speech of subject and object. It is a humanizing speech, one that challenges and resists domination.”

Drinking tea or coffee at a table and having a chat. 

In her book Living a feminist life (2017) the author Sarah Ahmed proposes that feminism cannot be limited to the realm of academia only and should embrace the notion of “home” and women’s personal spaces. Similarly, in my new artwork I am exploring a traditional setting of women sitting at a table drinking tea or coffee and discussing various themes from a young age onwards. This led me to the idea of establishing a space such as booking the old student café at CSM, for holding the dialogues at a table and drinking tea or coffee. As I wanted to offer something in return to my participants, I offered a refreshment in form of a tea or coffee and small selection of light, healthy snacks.

For this project I applied a convenience sampling strategy which means that I selected the participants based on the nature of the project in that they must be mothers in a teaching environment in this case BA Fashion at CSM. I held 7 confidential 1-2-1 dialogues which took around 1 hour each. The participants varied on race,ethnicity and age but were all academics working on BA Fashion. The interviews were all audio-recorded and then transcribed through an online programme called Transcript.

Reflection on methods as tools:

Looking at my chosen methods as a tool my action of taking noticeable care of creating a safe space and a space of appreciation for my participants enhanced the participants’ emotional generosity, eagerness to share and to find answers. The ethics form and confidentiality were so important in this dialogue context that I would describe them as another research method and tool.

The dialogue as a tool of actively bringing the project investigator and the participant to an equal level succeeded in that one of the participants felt empowered to spontaneously turn the questions towards me and others provided me with further sources of references. Further, the notion of verbal spontaneity when responding to questions provides the project investigator with very different, possibly more honest and therefore, more interesting answers than a written questionnaire.

The photographs of the dialogues’s setting are an important tool enabling me to share with you, my audience, a remaining energy or aura around the dialogues captured through photography. They resume the ‘being in flow’ notion and interrelate with my art project ‘Princess Dress continues’ and were also the only possible form of documenting visually the dialogues without revealing the participants’ identity, and confidentiality was a vital element throughout this project. However, I did not utilise the photos for analysis because the small scale of the ARP does not allow this.

Looking at myself being the project investigator or dialogue initiator I did not anticipate the weight of responsibility I felt during each dialogue and the mental exhaustions throughout the dialogues and later analysis. My all-encompassing – body and mind – and in-constant-flow methods, resulted in endless possible findings and could easily form a book. Concluding the applied methods require a lot of time.

The actual questions worked well in that the participants did not all respond in a particular way to the questions and therefore, said the same thing instead there was a recognisable pattern because the women generally had experienced and felt similar notions.

Summary of project findings (findings and summary) – what you found out, from your primary and secondary materials, data collection and analysis

Data Analysis of my Findings:

Once I had managed to create my endless pages of transcripts originating from my 7 one-hour long dialogues which took a while because all free ai programmes only do a certain number of minutes and so I ended up using a few apps and Microsoft Word piecing the different bits of transcripts together. Only later I realised that my partner had subscribed to the mentioned online programme Transcript which then speeded up the process immensely. I then created transcripts from all dialogues through the programme so that I could ensure consistency as consistency and coherence are important in data collection and analysis. 

As I felt a sense of achievement having managed 7 dialogues, created, and read 7 transcripts I was quite enthusiastic and adventurous which led me to just diving into re-reading, re-listening and starting to split up the transcripts into common themes without knowing anything tangible about this process. The only concept which seemed obvious to me was to keep the data in its original format as much as possible, so I didn’t modify it except removing any data that would reveal the participants’ identity. As mentioned above confidentiality was a core element of this project. I would go that far and describe it as one of my methods. Also, very early on I made the decision not to analyse non-speech sounds such as laughter, coughs, sighs etc. or body language as this would have required a lot of time and expertise I do not have (you can find more about this in my blog).

However, I slowly started to feel unequipped as I am not a trained researcher and had never done research interviews nor data analysis before. I simply did not understand the meaning of terms such as ‘findings’, ‘codes’ and ‘data’ in my context because I had a collection of different texts describing lived experiences and stories not numbers. So, I started reading about different methods. In Creative Research Methods in the Social Sciences: A Practical Guide by Helen Kara, 2015, explains that data analysis is complex and stresses it is vital to not invent or distort data but also that there is no ‘best way’ or ‘right answer’ which I had found reassuring.

Sage Research Methods Social Research: A Practical Introduction, SAGE Publications, 2011, mentions the two main, established methods for qualitative approaches are discourse analysis and conversation analysis (you can find more about this in my blog).Both analyses represent overly complex concepts and applying them without possessing more knowledge would seem to me that I would run the risk of being illusive in the sense that I would see things in my dialogues which might not be truthful.

I settled on ‘Thematic Analysis’ because I was doing it already without knowing the term for it, it seemed accessible and as Virginia Braun and Victoria Clarke in APA handbook of research methods in psychology, Vol. 2: Research designs: Quantitative, qualitative, neuropsychological, and biological (pp.57-71) Edition: First Chapter: Thematic analysis, 2012, explain it is helpful for people who are new to qualitative research. It ‘teaches the mechanics of coding and analysing qualitative data systematically, which can then be linked to broader theoretical or conceptual issues.’ They also mention that thematic analysis is beneficial in context with participatory action research.

Importantly, Braun and Clarke stress that thematic analysis is purely a ‘method of data analysis’ as opposed to an ‘approach’ which guides the researcher through the findings. 

Further it is a flexible method that enables the researcher to investigate the data in various ways and therefore, suits a wide range of research subjects and questions.

Braun and Clarke continue explaining more specifically that there are two approaches within thematic analysis: inductive and deductive approach. Utilising the inductive approach the researcher maps and analysis the codes and themes originating from the content of the data. While the deductive approach means that the researcher comes with an existing list of themes or concepts to decipher the data.

I used a combination of inductive and deductive approach which according to Braun and Clarke is the norm. Although different themes kept emerging, I realised that there were a lot of overlaps, so I applied a process of drawing themes together and creating subgroups. Having chosen thematic analysis as approach it enabled me to give my participants and their experiences a voice as much as possible by utilising their language combined with my conceptual and theoretical framework when naming the themes or codes and subgroups. This process constitutes a vital revelation for me because I understood that themes do not need to be neutral as I had initially assumed, instead, they are constructed and my interpretation.

Eventually, I constructed 4 final themes or codes each with 4 subgroups. One of my key findings is the 3^rd code which I called ‘Forever evolving Divided Selves – personally and interpersonally’ describing the constant splitting that mothers need to do. Significantly, it echoes and interrelates my emergent, in constant flow research approach, the findings and myself. This discovery led me back to the beginning when I had understood that how I do things in this project are equally important as the actual research data itself. Therefore, I double identified the sub-themes so that they now consist of a more formal, neutral version and another freer version revealing myself as both researcher and mother subject. It shows this ever-evolving ‘tangleness’ of my project, method and myself. Early on in the ARP I created a circular graphic explaining my process which you can view on my blog.  

Findings:

The actual themes and subgroups are under the separate category ‘Findings’.

To what extent are you satisfied with the difference your project has made (social justice)?

Considering that this is supposed to be a small research project I am satisfied with the difference my project made as it created a strong, internal shift in myself and in the participants which they expressed to me directly after the dialogue or a few days later. It felt meaningful.

I did the talk ‘Notes on Motherhood’ to the CSM Fashion Research and Knowledge Exchange community, received research funding following the talk, applied to a conference encouraged by my tutor and took part in the UAL Parents and Carers Staff Network meeting for the first time. During all these opportunities I talked about my ARP and findings and received further data and information in return.

Future research + next steps/action:

• taking it to management
• new research around: divided selves with focus on artist + mother because according to my findings an artist already starts with a divided self prior being a mother such as is art not a bit of a ‘luxury’ or ‘indulgence’ when it doesn’t help anyone etc.
• or looking deeper into the actual socio-political context, expectations, presumptions, and origins which cause a particular behaviour of the mother because social norms dictate the mother’s responses and definitions about themselves and also their social awkwardness mentioned during the dialogues such as ‘…I just always felt that it wasn’t something that was appropriate to discuss. …I don’t know why we kind of cast this subject aside or make it invisible.’
• My tutor Rachel M. kindly informed my about the new support for students in form of a Parenthood and Caring Support Agreement which is peculiar because I mentioned to the UAL Parent and Carer Network that it would be really beneficial for staff who are New Parents to have a written form of support and health & safety in place which could be signed off like a PRA by the line-manager.

The new support below mentions primarily students and less staff so there is still quite a bit to improve. Also, the current breastfeeding space at CSM is still the prayer space which is for many reasons unacceptable.   

https://canvas.arts.ac.uk/News/240514/an-update-about-our-approach-to-welcoming-children-on-site-and-supporting-parents-and-carers

https://www.arts.ac.uk/students/student-diversity/student-parent-and-carer-support

https://www.arts.ac.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0032/414689/Student-parenthood-and-caring-support-guidance_v1a_11.2023.pdf

references to relevant literature both on methods and on your topic

• Artwork: Mama by Aneta Grzeszykowska, 2018
• Coxon, Ann, Motherhood, Tate Enterprises Ltd, 2023
• Phillips, Julie, The Baby on the Fire Escape – Creativity, Motherhood, and the Mind-Baby Problem, W.W. Norton & Company Ltd, 2022
• Artist: Alice Neel
• Exhibition: Women in Revolt! Art and Activism in the UK 1970-1990 at Tate Britain 2023-24
• Dick, Bob Making the most of emergent methodologies: a critical choice in qualitative research design. A paper prepared for the Association for Qualitative Research conference, Melbourne, 5-7 July, 2001 http://www.aral.com.au/DLitt/DLitt_P48emerg.pdf
• Ravitch, Dr. Sharon, Methods in Flux: Emphasis on Emergent Design by Sharon Ravitch Dr. Sharon Ravitch is a regular Methodspace contributor, and served as the Mentor in Residence in March 2022, https://www.methodspace.com/blog/methods-in-flux-emphasis-on-emergent-design
• Ahmed, Sarah, Living a feminist life, Duke University Press Books, 3 Feb. 2017
• Hill Collins, Patricia, Paper: Why Citation matters: Ideas on a feminist approach to research by Christina Templin (SoSe 2021).
• Hooks, Bell, Talking Back, Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black, Routledge Taylor & Francis Group New York London, 1989, p.131
• Kara, Helen, Creative Research Methods in the Social Sciences: A Practical Guide, Policy Press; 1st edition 10 April 2015
• Sage Research Methods Social Research: A Practical Introduction, SAGE Publications, 2011
• Braun, Virginia and Clarke, Victoria in APA handbook of research methods in psychology, Vol. 2: Research designs: Quantitative, qualitative, neuropsychological, and biological (pp.57-71) Edition: First Chapter: Thematic analysis, 2012

• Research Talk: I NEED TO ADD THE TALK’S NOTE, REACTIONS, IMAGES

Notes on Motherhood

at Central Saint Martins

17:00-18:00

19th of October

My colleague wrote the following blurb about the research talk session:

How does the immensely complex lived experience that is motherhood inform a woman’s creative work? But also, and just as crucially, how does it interfere with it, disable and ruin it? For Anna-Nicole, childhood and motherhood emerged as artistic themes almost simultaneously with becoming a mother. And yet, painfully, she also stopped working for a number of years, unable to sustain artistic practice on top of other domestic and professional demands on her. In our conversation, then, we will try to connect the dots delving into our own experiences as mothers, but especially Anna-Nicole’s film work, to think about the impact of motherhood on creativity.